She twisted her lips in an attempt to convince herself that he was not bored. But then her words raced faster than her thoughts. She sat there leaning on to his shoulder staring at the screen. There were hummers, red, blue and cars in all sophisticated colours. They were rolling from one end of the scene to the other like it was rushing into the loo for a speed leak. The movie made sense to her. But the person sitting next to her made no sense at all. She wondered why? She knew she loved him but then there was a quick emergency in her to run far than her feet could carry her. In between scenes she took quick glances and photographed moments to confirm whether he was seriously bored. Was this day that she had begged for, a ‘forced trapped moment’ in his life? The screen donned the name of the creative minds. And both of them walked out of the cinema hall feeling the presence of the other, while, absent in each others presence.
“What, why do u have that constipated look on your face? The chocolate boy raised his brows.
“nothing” that was a squeak. She hated it. She wished she could be more bold.
They camped into Jocca Brande – a buzy coffee shop in the centre of the city. They found a place in the corner to sit. She sat there beaming with pride, teasing the lady sitting on the corner giving a hey-you-know-what-am-with-the-person-I-love-the-most look! Then again she turned and gazed at him. She loved his skin colour. She loved the way how he stared into the unknown when talking. She loved the way he recouped his clothes and his hair when he felt that some girl was noticing. She loved everything about him.
“What, now! Why don’t u do a little bit of talking” complained the chocolate boy.
She stared at him like she was not eternally sure about what she was talking. She talked about what bothered her. He was listening with the same bored look on his face. She touched his hand held it once. Then decided it was not worth it.
Her mind said “I can’t keep you happy. Neither can you keep me happy. You got to run. Don’t stop”
Words lashed out. .. one after the other.. Gushing out. Hurting. Tormenting her than the one listening to her..
“leave me. We will never understand each other. Get out of my life” she screamed at him.
She was able to see the hurt look on his face. She knew he loved her. But then she was nothing in his life. While he was everything in hers.
Balancing of love is the feeling of want for each other. But when there is no balance. There is no love.
There is just pain. Cause there is no between ‘in’ and ‘out’ in a relationship. It is either ‘in’ or ‘out’.
She smirked at him. Got up and started walking. She dint turn and look for him. But then there was a pool of water in her eyes. She dint care to wipe. She dint care to hold it. It just gushed out.
She was happy. The feeling of love was freezed safe in her, instead of being burnt in their anger storms. That made her complete. Complete in her freedom to love.